12/7/2022

Quite some time I've used this journal and or updated my site. I'd like to say first and foremost I have been spending and have most a lot of time actually in VRChat for the past two years really involved in the community of Helping Hands! I've learnt a shit ton of ASL and have met amazing and wonderful people. VR actually has changed my life so much that it's hard to imagine me without some form of VR. Its affected my art and how I view the world and its people. In fact I met up with a good close friend of mine in person who I met in VR. It's really surreal to see people you've known for years in flesh and blood rather than pixels and at time insufficent DPI. It's nice to know that you're actually able to meet up with these people as it can feel like you're experiecing one very long fever dream of a reality. The idea that someone else is sharing your delusion as is comforting and reminds you that these avatars/people are actually real. They're not fake anime characters.They're real people with thoughts, feelings, and relationships. I think for the past couple of years thats been my fascination with all this. It's changed my art so much. All I can think about recently is identity and symbols. I mean I guess I've always been highly obsessed with those types of things but my long experiences with VR has made me reanalyze how people choose to present themselves to others. I think one of the most fascinating things with VR especially is that while you can pick any avatar you want to represent yourself, it can be a semi masking yet also unmasking of who someone really is. Despite how their avatar may look, they can't hide body language. This is epscially noticeable in people who have bought full body tracking, allowing them to properly stand up in VR and have their entire legs and body tracked. It brings the smallest cues of body language that people pick up on making it 100x easier to read a person compared to older forms of online services such as Secondlife or IMVU. I think that's what makes this so overwhelming and new. When I think back to VRChat memories, I don't tihnk about how I was sitting at a desk or in front of a computer screen. Instead I remember it like an actual in person memory. It's really strange. As someone I follow on twitter who often writes about VR experiences said, it's like my soul is living in multiple time zones at once.

Anyways end of my VR rant. Hopefully I can keep making new blog updates as I've finally fixed my website lol.